Thursday, 19 May 2011

I am PMS/OCD-ing hard

I like it when illnesses can be condensed into neat, 3 letter abbreviations.

Today was my day off all things outside-of-the-house. I didn't have to go to work, I didn't have any social plans (still well cool though), all I had ahead of me was A Level work. A mixture of Shakespeare, and some Middle Ages writers that none of us have heard of.

And then PMS struck. And it struck hard.

My head was not in the game today. Somehow, after mindless hours of blog reading and broodily listening to Charlie Simpson, I managed to get a fair amount of work done and please my tutor somewhat in our meeting this afternoon. I don't remember how I did that though.

I just feel a bit crap.

My tummy hurts, I'm tired, and my heart feels sad. Standard really. But it's a little bit worse when you've got mental problems anyhow and struggle keeping them under wraps in normal circumstances. When I get sad, or cranky, I start washing my hands more. I suppose I start noticing everything around me, everything that could contaminate me. I can never pinpoint exactly how it begins, and once it's in full flow it's much harder to get a grip of. For instance. I was sitting in front of my laptop earlier, Charlie Simpson's new single was playing for the 58th time and I was going slightly insane (playing the same droning song 58 times may not have aided the situation). I decided that the fly that was buzzing around had definitely been infected with some deadly disease and every surface it brushed past was, in turn, infected. This obviously meant that I couldn't move, nor could I stay in the room I was in. Quite a predicament. In the end I left the room for a bit. And then came back a little later, defiantly giving the fly the death stare.

So that's the kind of mood I'm in right now. I'm pleased that throughout all that I have managed to write about Shakespeare anyway but it doesn't change the fact that my brain is being a little bit trippy. It's working over time. AND THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A RELAXING DAY OFF DAMMIT.

I'm out tonight. Hopefully that will take my mind off my mind somewhat. Whatever that means.

In other news: I found a new picture of Ellie Goulding. Enjoy.

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